|You're viewing windsorblue's Reading Page|
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More
grab your gun and bring the cat in. Read.
Today's post is dedicated to all the engaged couples out there. That's right, lovebirds, I thought we might take this opportunity to consider the most important cake of your entire lives: your wedding cake.
Now, I know I feature a lot of wedding wrecks, and I know a lot of folks will point out that asking for a fondant design recreated in buttercream is asking for disaster, but don't you worry. I'm here to help. After all, this is what Leah D. ordered for HER wedding cake:
And look what she got!
Ok, yes, it's a wreck. BUT - did you notice how the inspiration cake was all buttercream, and the wreck itself is fondant? I'm just sayin'. It works both ways.
Now, don't you feel better?
Ok, then how about what Susan A. ordered for her wedding?
Not a great picture (you don't see mimeographs much these days), but I think you get the general idea.
And here's what Susan got:
Granted, I'm not sure how this is supposed to make you feel better, but trust me, guys: the REST of us are feeling grrrrr-REAT. (John! Go make some popcorn! These are gettin' GOOD.)
Sara M. wanted her wedding cake to be a hunk a' hunk a' burnin' love:
The cake! The cake! The cake is on FI-YUR!
(That was my attempt at a slide-rule trombone effect. I know: I'm a veritable foley artist with words.)
And finally, Elizabeth P. dreamed a dream of ribbon-wrapped sweetness for her big day:
...but ended up with something only a mummy could love:
Ouch. Uh...that's a wrap!
Thanks to all of today's brides and just remember, guys: wreck or Sweet, we're gonna need to see your wedding cake! (Oh, and we're all invited, right? RIGHT?!)
And Grant Gustin teases how Barry’s time in the speedforce has changed him. James Cameron has a progress update on his plans for Terminator. The J.R.R. Tolkien biopic might have found its star. Plus, David Leitch on what Josh Brolin brings to Deadpool 2 and even more teasers for Rick & Morty’s return. Behold, Spoilers!
|archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about|
|← previous||July 26th, 2017||next|
July 26th, 2017: San Diego Comic Con was AMAZING: I met so many great and interesting readers, got to meet some people that I really admire, and won two (TWO!) Eisner Awards, for my work on Squirrel Girl and Jughead! IT WAS PRETTY AMAZING!!
Tara reads a lot of lesbian romances. You can catch her regularly reviewing at The Lesbian Review and Curve Magazine and hear her talk about lesbian fiction (including romance) on her podcast Les Do Books. You can also hit her up for recommendations on Twitter (@taramdscott).
If you were to ask me for a good place to start reading lesbian romance, Melissa Brayden would be at or near the top of my list. With almost 10 novels and novellas, her backlist is totally glommable without being daunting, and it’s full of fun, flirty dialogue, amazing kissing, and just enough angst to keep things interesting. Her book Kiss the Girl has been one of my very favourite romances since it came out a few years ago, and her latest offering, Strawberry Summer, is so damn good that it blows that whole backlist out of the water.
Margaret Beringer is so not one of the cool kids in her high school. If she can just stay unnoticed by her classmates and make it a few more weeks until summer break, she’ll only have one year left before she can take off for college. Courtney Carrington comes to her history class for the first time just as Margaret is about to give a presentation (the most terrifying of endeavors for a kid striving for invisibility) and somehow notices her. Courtney doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal to jump the popularity divide between Margaret and her classmates, and never cares that Margaret’s a farm kid and not one of the elite.
Courtney is quickly moved back out of town by her mother before she and Margaret can do more than kiss, but she gives her the parting gift of the new name, Maggie, and the promise of friendship with some of those previously unreachable classmates. When Courtney comes back the next summer, their chemistry is stronger than ever and they fall into a relationship so beautiful that it manages to survive each year as they part for separate colleges, only to meet up again in the summers. But their breakup and its circumstances leave Maggie closed off, with scars that she isn’t willing to examine too closely as she trudges ahead with the rest of her life. Five years later, the last thing she expects or wants is to see Courtney back in Tanner Peak, especially when it turns out that there’s something still there—no matter how hard she tries to push those feelings aside.
Strawberry Summer is told in the first person from Maggie’s perspective, which I know isn’t everyone’s favourite, but is a perfect narrative choice for this book. When Maggie and Courtney are in high school, it feels like a YA story. When they’re in their college years, it feels like a new adult romance with all the sexiness and freshness of young love that can be expected from that genre. And when they reunite for that second chance in their late twenties, it feels like a contemporary romance between two fully formed adults. And yet, because Maggie is guiding us through all of it, the story never feels disjointed. We’re just seeing the style adjust naturally alongside Maggie as she matures and grows from that lonely, awkward girl to the successful, confident, and eventually even happy woman she becomes. The only drawback is that we never get Courtney’s perspective and everything she does is interpreted through Maggie’s eyes. Even that didn’t bother me too much because Courtney is demonstrative and shares enough of what she’s thinking and feeling that we can have a complete idea of who she is as a person and a partner.
Second chance romances are also a bit of a mixed bag for me, especially when we’re taken all the way through the original romance. I find them to be much angstier than many other romances, often even unpleasant, because the whole point is to join a couple as they reunite after a painful separation and a whole bunch of time apart. Knowing all of that, I kind of went into this book with a hand over my eyes and that turned out to be totally unnecessary. The second chance aspect worked for me because, when those painful circumstances happened, they didn’t feel gratuitous and they made sense. Being taken from first meeting to friendship to lovers to breakup to reuniting and (finally!) makeup isn’t just about the romance between Maggie and Courtney. It’s also about them coming of age, figuring out who they are as adults, and becoming those people in a way that makes sense for themselves, rather than each molding to become the right person for the other.
Strawberry Summer is the perfect book to pick up as we’re looking forward to the longer, hotter days ahead. It’s a tribute to first love and soulmates and growing into the person you’re meant to be. I feel like I say this each time I read a new Melissa Brayden offering, but I loved this book so much that I cannot wait to see what she delivers next. This is a book I will read over and over again, enjoying each stage of their lives just as much every time.
What a headline...but then again, this is THE SIMS; and we'd expect nothing short of a delightfully dark sense of humor from gamers when it comes to how much they can generally f**k with their Sims' existence. Our speedrunner champion of the hour's commentary in this video is also hilarious: the sheer amount of cold calculated focus is impressive and mildly alarming, all at once.
Submitted by: (via SimlpySeze)
I'm a reader in Kansas with two teenage daughters, 16 and 18. My girls recently met a boy where they work and both took an interest in him. The 18-year-old was devastated that he was more interested in her younger sister. I spoke to the 16-year-old about it, which is when I found out this boy is going to be a sophomore in college. The fact that he's interested in a 16-year-old is a red flag. I asked the 16-year-old to keep her distance. She agreed, but I saw a shirtless photo he sent her. I don't know what other photos he's sent and I don't know what she's sent him, but I immediately removed all photo apps from her phone. The girls have had public fights about this boy. They've made peace with each other, but now my 18-year-old wants to date him. I can't control the actions of an 18-year-old but (1) it seem likely this guy is a complete creep and (2) isn't her relationship with her sister more important?
Knowing A Numbskull Stalks Adorable Sisters
1. I'm not ready to pronounce this guy a creep—at least not for the age difference. It sounds like he met your daughters someplace they're all working this summer, which is a lot less icky than some college boy creeping on high-school girls via Instagram. And you say this boy is going to be a sophomore in college, KANSAS, but don't give his age. There are 30-year-old college sophomores, of course, but if this boy went straight to college from high school, that would make him 19 years old. If your 16-year-old is closing in on 17, this guy could be "older" by two years and change. While I can understand why you wouldn't want your younger daughter dating college boys, I think you are overreacting to the age difference—and it's a moot issue, as he's no longer pursuing your younger daughter.
1.5. You know what is creepy? Pursuing a pair of sisters. The possibility of conflict was so predictable, it was likely a motivating factor for him. Getting off on drama and public fights isn't a crime, but it is a red flag.
2. You ordered your 16-year-old to stop seeing this guy and deleted apps from her phone. (It's cute you think your daughter isn't tech-savvy enough to re-download and hide all the same apps.) You should warn your daughter about the risks of sexting—it may be legal for her to have sex (16 is the age of consent in Kansas), but she could face child porn charges for sending photos and this boy could wind up on a sex-offender registry for receiving them. (Laws meant to protect young people from being exploited are routinely used to punish them.) But don't attempt to micromanage your daughters' love lives. Parental disapproval has a way of driving teenagers into each other's arms, KANSAS. If you don't want your daughters having a fuck-you-mom threesome with this guy before the summer is over, you'll let them work through this on their own—but go ahead and stitch "boys come and go but sisters are forever" on a couple of pillows and put them on their beds.
I'm a straight guy married to a wonderful woman. She has a daughter. This girl's bio dad is a checked-out deadbeat, so I have played "dad" since I met her mom five years ago. The girl who used to be a gangly, awkward 11-year-old is now 16, and there's no other way to put this: She is hot. I'm not supposed to notice, I know, and I have ZERO interest in being creepy with her, and she has ZERO interest in me. But she has always liked to cuddle with me and still does. I believe safe closeness from a dad figure helps girls make good choices when it comes to boys. (If not for me, she might seek attention from douchebag teenage boys trying to take advantage.) I want to continue to play this role for her. But when she comes in wearing tiny shorts and puts her legs over my lap, I get rock hard. I'm not trying to be creepy, but I'm a guy and she's a perfect female specimen. I can't say, "We can't be as physically close as we used to be," because that itself would be creepy and it would make her sad.
Insert Dad Acronym Here Obviously
Sometimes children grow up and get hot, and bonus adults in their lives—typically (and thankfully) not their bio or lifelong parents—can't help but notice. The onus is on the adult in that situation to suppress that shit. Not awareness of a young person's objective hotness, which cannot be suppressed, but all evidence of said awareness. Which means setting boundaries and, if necessary, keeping your distance. No, you shouldn't go to your stepdaughter and say, "You got hot, and I get boners when you put your legs on my lap, so stop." But you should put an end to the cuddling. When she plops down on the couch, go take a walk or a shower or a shit. Better she has a sad over the end of snuggle time than she notices your boners and feels unsafe around you.
She's most likely plopping down on you out of habit, IDAHO, not out of a need for affection from a trusted male. I promise you, she's not going to start blowing bad boys in back alleys if she can't get close enough to give you a boner anymore. (Also, if you don't want to come across as a creep, don't describe your stepdaughter—or any other woman—as a "perfect female specimen." Ick.)
My college-student daughter lives in an apartment over our garage. She has a boyfriend, age 19. After many loud "discussions," he is allowed to sleep over. My daughter got an IUD without informing me, so I assume they're sexually active. Two days ago, I crept into the apartment to check on something and found bondage items on her bed—a set of formidable leather restraints. I'm worried she's being pressured to do things someone her age wouldn't be interested in. We agreed not to go into the apartment when she wasn't present, and I know there will be a loud "discussion" if I tell her what I saw. The mental image of my bound daughter distresses me and I worry for her safety. What do I do?
Offspring Has Incriminating Objects
You stay the fuck out of your offspring's apartment when she isn't home, OHIO, per your agreement. And you keep these things in mind: Just as there are young queer people out there, there are young kinky people out there too. Your adult daughter might be one of them. For all you know, the restraints were her idea and her boyfriend is the one getting tied up. And a scary-to-mom set of restraints is a lot safer than nylon clothesline or cheap handcuffs. Leather restraints distribute pressure evenly, making them less likely to pinch a nerve or cut off circulation. Like your adult daughter getting herself an IUD, formidable bondage gear is a good sign that she takes her safety seriously. (And how did you find out about the IUD she got without informing you? Did you wander up her vagina one day to "check on something"?)
Finally, OHIO, it's perfectly understandable that you don't like the mental image of your adult daughter tied to the bed in her apartment (her apartment, not the apartment), but I'm guessing you don't like the mental image of your adult daughter with a dick in her mouth, either. Just as you don't torment yourself by picturing the blowjobs your adult daughter is almost certainly giving her boyfriend, don't torment yourself by picturing whatever else she might be doing with, to, or for him.
On the Lovecast, bespoke porn and sexy stamps: savagelovecast.com.
The DeLorean. The Ecto-1. The Batmobile. The Lightcycle. Badass vehicles and other modes of transport have long been a memorable part of science fiction and fantasy movies—and artist Mark Chilcott has painted some standout selections in a brand new art show, appropriately titled Ride On!
Jared Leto may be going from DC to Valiant.
Tom Wolfe’s landmark 1979 book The Right Stuff, famously turned into the 1983 film, is coming back thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio. His production company has just signed a deal to turn the book into a TV series on National Geographic.
Summer—the season when everything smells like hot garbage—is finally in full-swing in New York City. With the MTA seemingly intent on preventing us from going anywhere—never mind outside the city—folks from Brooklyn and beyond trek to Prospect Park to cool down and escape the pungent odors in the air. Unfortunately,…
On a nice, calm walk in Ymittos, a rescue Grecian pup was walking alongside his owner, when something caught his attention...
Aragon, the altruistic pup, went to investigate. Using his keen nose, he sniffed out something unfamiliar. A box of little black and white kittens that have obviously seem to have been abandoned, and left to fend for themselves, reported the Laughing Squid.
We're deep in the dog days of summer, people. Long and hot afternoons under the unforgiving sun, inevitably gave way to longer outings at the nearest public pool. You're coming up on an alarmingly extended series of continuous days spent dousing your body in that good 'ol chlorine. Those public pools though, they're tired too. Those pools have been overran by sunscreen-armored riotous packs of sugarhigh kids who are prone to uncontrollable fits of pissing when they've gotta go. Yes, those poor pools have seen better days. These tweets capture those perilous signs of a public pool gone awry that you should make every effort to avoid. And let me just be the first to say that since day fucking ONE, I've avoided those floating skin tags like the bubonic plague.
Dog Solution is a Twitter account that includes lots of purposeful spelling and grammatical mistakes to make tweets look like they were written by a dog attempting to speak English. It's all about dogs giving not so effective solutions and advises to common, everyday problems.
Every year at Comic-Con, certain things—news stories, trailers, publicity stunts—stand out from the rest of the crowd. With so much happening every single day, it’s just inevitable. Some stuff exceeds our expectations or delightfully surprises us; other stuff distinguishes itself because it sucks. Here are the winners…
The Star Wars franchise has some of the most iconic and recognizable sound effects, from the whoosh of a lightsaber to the bleeps and bloops of R2-D2. So it’s no surprise that musician Eclectic Method has returned to this wonderful pool of sonic samples to create yet another catchy track you’ll be playing on repeat…
He’s yet to learn about great responsibility, but Marvel’s newest animated iteration of Spider-Man is already getting used to his great powers in the latest prologue short for the new series.
After starting to suspect something was amiss in his relationship this resourceful guy decided to dig a little deeper to figure out what his girlfriend was doing while she was 'out with friends'.
After discovering that his 'Instagram model' girlfriend was, in fact, using her account as a front for her secret escort service he decided to have a little fun.
He contacted her pretending to be an interested customer and she took the bait.
Director Rick Famuyiwa almost made DC’s Flash movie—but now that he’s no longer part of that project, he’s moving on to a different comic book movie.
Nobody thought it could happen. Then it did. Back in October 2016, it was announced that Young Justice—the fan-favorite Cartoon Network series about DC’s teenage superheroes—would be coming back from the dead for a third season, and last week at San Diego Comic-Con, we talked to some of the show’s creators about what…
If you recall, we ran a little post on this modern day Tinder tale last week (see here). Fast forward, and it looks like Tinder actually made it happen, and introduced these two stubborn lovebirds. I'd be lying if I didn't say this felt like one of those modern day technology-driven, Hunger Games-esque romance moments. Just a weird feel to it, no?